Well, here goes…i’m gonna start with the day my physiotherapist told me I definitely had CRPS. About an hour after I left his office, I started having the worst pain i’ve felt since I did the original damage in March. Not entirely sure what brought this on so I panicked and worried but due to the fact I could only get a Doctors appoinment on Wednesday. I had almost two whole days of purple foot, difficulty sleeping and constant pain. During this time I put in 30 hours at work (at least 12 hour days) which I thought would be commendable behaviour however it only resulted in people not understanding why I struggle with flights of stairs and walking 2-3 miles a day if I can put in 30 hours (most of that sat at a desk) work time. Once at the doctors appointment he asked the rather amusiong question of “How was I and was I coping ok?â€, as this was the first time anyone other than my physio had asked me this I didn’t actually know what to say, other than “struggling- how do I tell people i’m in pain if they think i’m faking it to be kicked out?â€. However I couldn’t say that cause I didn’t want to cause alarm bells to ring, so instead I said “struggling- finding it hard to keep upbeat seen as it’s getting worseâ€. To this he said that the pregabalin should help cause once i’ve got used to it again it’ll help with the pain and I would hopefully be able to do all my physio properly and possibly get off my crutches in a couple of months or so. I was ecstatic at this news, so went back to work intent on letting my boss know.

However between leaving the doctors and getting back to the main office, the pain was intent on kicking in and skewing my happiness. So I took the pregabalin I had been given. It did what it said it would do it took away the pain and turned me into a zombie. However I continued to take it until Friday when after a long, confusing day in work I collapsed in my room and slept through 27 missed calls, 3 alarms and then reawoke at 0700 hrs the next day – after 13 hours sleep. Due to this I missed my Mum’s university graduation ceremony which she was suitably upset about. I then continued to spend the weekend resting my foot (hoping for a miracle) and not taking pregabalin!

On return to work on the monday, I spoke to one of my seniors about the weekend and got no advice, apart from speak to the boss. To this I thought “screw it†and called the doctors for another appointment. Between that phone call and the following days doctors appointment, I had a meeting with my boss and welfare (army social workers type people). During this meeting I told my boss every niggle that had been affecting my performance and trying to explain what I had been told by both doctors and the physiotherapist about CRPS. I even took along factsheets I got off the rsds.com website.To this I told not to look further into it than I had been told and to not think it was painful when things I know said hurt didn’t hurt initially!!! (Please bear in mind she did not read the sheets or have any prior dealings with CRPS) To this I realised it was a lost cause, however when you read below you’ll see she now thinks I am going to throw my prognosis at her every time she or anyone else tells me off for getting something wrong. I have been in varying degrees of the same pain for 6 months now, so I am coonfused why I would suddenly start using it as an excuse just because the pain actually has a name!

This I had this morning and was told pregabalin had to be taken and work would have to understand. Work have now referred me back to the senior medical officer to find out whether I have to take them and if I do then they don’t want me, but in the same token- after the week i’ve had would you want to work with them either???